MAHIRAP LAHAT
Sa UP, mahirap ang Math
Sa Ateneo, mahirap ang English.
Sa La Salle, mahirap ang parking.
Sa Assumption, mahirap ang walang pera.
Sa Holy Spirit, mahirap umuwi pag may rally
Sa UST, mahirap umuwi kapag baha.
Sa St. Scho, mahirap sumakay sa LRT
Sa San Beda, mahirap maging lalaki.
WHERE TO GO TO COLLEGE?
If you have a lot of brains and a little
money, go to UP.
If you have some brains and some money,
go to Ateneo.
If you have no brains and lots of money,
go go La Salle .
If you have no money, go to PUP.
CHRISTMAS SPIRIT
A few days before Christmas, the
Monsignor thought it would be a
good idea if he solicited the support of
a number of schools to get together to
create a Nativity Scene in time for the
Christmas Mass. The day before
Christmas, the Monsignor discovered that
the Nativity Scene was still incomplete
so he made a few inquiries on why this
was so.
Ateneo reported it could come up with
only two and not three wise men.
La Salle reported it could not come up
with even a single wise man.
Maryknoll reported that it could not
come up with even a single virgin.
San Beda reported that it could only
come up with three wise gays.
UP reported that they killed the three
wise men.
QUESTION AND ANSWER
Q: What should an Atenean do when a La
Sallite hurls a grenade at him?
A: The Atenean should pick up the
grenade, pull the
firing pin and hurl it back at the La
Sallite.
Q: How do La Sallites count to ten?
A: One, two, three, another, another,
and another.
PASIKATAN NG GRADWEYTS
UP: A number of past Philippine
presidents graduated from UP. Presidents
Roxas, Quirino, Laurel, Garcia and
Marcos, to name
just a few!
ATENEO: Hah! That's nothing, a number of
Ateneo graduates became national heroes
like Jose Rizal, Gen. Gregorio del
Pilar, Gen.Antonio Luna, Evelio Javier
and many others.
UP: That just goes to show you, UP
graduates become presidents
and lead countries while Atenean end up
getting shot!
LA SALLE : Wala 'yan. Talo kayo sa mga
gradweyt namin!
UP & ATENEO: Bakit sino ba ang mga
graduates ninyo?
LA SALLE : Aba ! Marami kaming sikat na
gradweyts; si Gary Valenciano, Dingdong
Avanzado, Ogie Alcasid, Monsour del Rosario.
HOW TO IDENTIFY A LA SALLITE
A La Sallite walks into a store in Mega
Mall and says: "Miss, I'd like a green
parrot, please."
The salesgirl looks at him and asks:
"Sir, are you a La Sallite, by any chance?"
The La Sallite replies: "O... bakit mo
naman natanong 'yan? If I ordered BLUE
cheese, would you ask me if I were from
Ateneo? I
don't think so. If I bought a MAROON
shirt, would you ask me if I
were from UP? I think not. So why then,
when I want to buy a
GREEN parrot, do you ask me if I'm from
La Salle ?"
"Sir, kasi naman..." replied the
salesgirl, "this is a flower shop, eh."
A TYPICAL CONVERSATION
Two La Sallites meet on the street and
carry on a typical La Sallite conversation:
La Sallite #1: If you can tell me how
many chickens I have in this bag,I will
give you both of them.
La Sallite #2: Uh, two?
La Sallite #1: Daya mo! You peeked!
BARKADA SA HUNTING
Tatlong magkaka-barkada: a La Sallite, a
UP student, and an Atenean went on a
hunting trip. The first night, the guy
from UP comes back to the cabin with a
big deer. The others ask him how he did
it,and he coolly replies: "I saw the
tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang!
I got the deer!"
The next night, the guy from Ateneo
comes back also with a big deer. "I saw
the tracks, I followed the tracks, and
bang! I
got the deer!" was the Atenean's story.
Therefore, the La Sallite decides to try
it himself. However, the
next night, as he drags himself back to
the cabin, his two companions find him
bruised and bloody all over. "What
happened?"
they ask. "Well," replies the La
Sallite, "I saw the tracks, I
followed the tracks, and bang! A train
hit me."
A MURDER MYSTERY
(To be solved solely on the basis of pure logic)
Who committed the murder?
Suspects:
The Humble Atenean, The Bright La
Sallite, The Innocent Maryknoller, The
Unaffected Assumptionista, The UP Graduate
Culprit:
The UP Graduate
Logic:
No such thing as a Humble Atenean or a
Bright La Sallite or an Innocent
Maryknoller or an Unaffected Assumptionista.
HOW DO YOU KNOW ONE WHEN YOU SEE ONE?
In a grand ballroom party conducted by
the Philippine Society of Colleges and
Universities, the Chairman of the Board
got curious to know what particular
schools attended the big celebration.
Therefore, he checked out the house
where it was all happening. Guess whom
he found and where he found them?
UP Diliman - everybody was lined up to
the attic to have a fraternity ritual
UP Los Banos - they were in the garden
mowing the lawn
UP Manila - they were into "drugs"
Ateneo - they were inside the TV room
with a microphone chanting the "BLUE
EAGLE" spelling
La Salle - they were eavesdropping
San Beda - some were beside the Ateneans
while others were in the
bedroom with some Paulinians
St. Paul - they thought they were with
the Ateneans
Holy Spirit - Ateneans and La Sallites
want them in bed
Miriam - they were beside the room of
the Ateneans..like always
Assumption - they were inside the
bathroom three hours already since arriving
St. Scholastica - they were next in line
for the bathroom
CEU - some were doing the dishes while
others were busy with the
laundry
St. Louis - they were in front of the
air conditioner
UE - they don't know what's an air
conditioner
UST - they were everywhere
FEU - they were nowhere
MLQU - sob! They were not invited
San Sebastian - How the hell did they
pass by security?
Letran - the Security
Mapua - they were fixing the leak in the
roof
TIP - they were the ones who created the
leak
NU - they were outside the house selling
cigarettes
JRC - they were the ones buying
Adamson - went to Luneta instead
Sta. Isabel - they were Adamson's dates
CRC - what the hell is this party for?
PSBA - what the hell is CRC?
NCBA - what the hell is PSBA?
AMA - they were parading with Jolina posters
Suicide Sandwhich
There were three friends: an Atenean, a
La Sallite, and a UP student (so you
know this story is fictional). Anyway,
everyday,
they met for lunch and ate their sandwiches.
UP: Putek! Peanut butter sandwich na
naman? Sawang-sawa na ako dito ah. Pag
bukas, peanut butter sandwich na
namanang baon
ko, magpapatiwakal na ako.
Ateneo: Darn! Roast beef sandwich again.
I am sick of this already. If I get
another roast beef sandwich again
tomorrow, I! am gonna shoot myself.
La Salle : Oh my gosh, grabe! Ham
sandwich is my baon again. I am so sawa
with this sandwich na, ha? If my baon
tomorrow is ham sandwich again. I am
gonna drive my CRV over the cliff.
The next morning, they again met for
lunch, and, alas, they had
the same sandwiches again. The UP
student went back to his dorm,
pulled out a belt and choked himself to
death.
The Atenean went home, got a gun, and
shot himself in the head.
The La Sallite drove his CRV off a cliff.
During their funeral, their mothers were
interviewed:
UP: Kung sinabi niya lang sa akin na
ayaw niya na nang peanut butter
sandwich, eh di sana hindi na yun yung
pinabaon ko sa kanya.
Ateneo: If he had told me that he did
not want roast beef anymore, I wouldn't
have prepared him roast beef.
La Salle : Hindi ko maintindihan kung
bakit siya nagpakamatay, eh
siya naman yung gumagawa ng sarili
niyang sandwich.
Enjoy
Sa UP, mahirap ang Math
Sa Ateneo, mahirap ang English.
Sa La Salle, mahirap ang parking.
Sa Assumption, mahirap ang walang pera.
Sa Holy Spirit, mahirap umuwi pag may rally
Sa UST, mahirap umuwi kapag baha.
Sa St. Scho, mahirap sumakay sa LRT
Sa San Beda, mahirap maging lalaki.
WHERE TO GO TO COLLEGE?
If you have a lot of brains and a little
money, go to UP.
If you have some brains and some money,
go to Ateneo.
If you have no brains and lots of money,
go go La Salle .
If you have no money, go to PUP.
CHRISTMAS SPIRIT
A few days before Christmas, the
Monsignor thought it would be a
good idea if he solicited the support of
a number of schools to get together to
create a Nativity Scene in time for the
Christmas Mass. The day before
Christmas, the Monsignor discovered that
the Nativity Scene was still incomplete
so he made a few inquiries on why this
was so.
Ateneo reported it could come up with
only two and not three wise men.
La Salle reported it could not come up
with even a single wise man.
Maryknoll reported that it could not
come up with even a single virgin.
San Beda reported that it could only
come up with three wise gays.
UP reported that they killed the three
wise men.
QUESTION AND ANSWER
Q: What should an Atenean do when a La
Sallite hurls a grenade at him?
A: The Atenean should pick up the
grenade, pull the
firing pin and hurl it back at the La
Sallite.
Q: How do La Sallites count to ten?
A: One, two, three, another, another,
and another.
PASIKATAN NG GRADWEYTS
UP: A number of past Philippine
presidents graduated from UP. Presidents
Roxas, Quirino, Laurel, Garcia and
Marcos, to name
just a few!
ATENEO: Hah! That's nothing, a number of
Ateneo graduates became national heroes
like Jose Rizal, Gen. Gregorio del
Pilar, Gen.Antonio Luna, Evelio Javier
and many others.
UP: That just goes to show you, UP
graduates become presidents
and lead countries while Atenean end up
getting shot!
LA SALLE : Wala 'yan. Talo kayo sa mga
gradweyt namin!
UP & ATENEO: Bakit sino ba ang mga
graduates ninyo?
LA SALLE : Aba ! Marami kaming sikat na
gradweyts; si Gary Valenciano, Dingdong
Avanzado, Ogie Alcasid, Monsour del Rosario.
HOW TO IDENTIFY A LA SALLITE
A La Sallite walks into a store in Mega
Mall and says: "Miss, I'd like a green
parrot, please."
The salesgirl looks at him and asks:
"Sir, are you a La Sallite, by any chance?"
The La Sallite replies: "O... bakit mo
naman natanong 'yan? If I ordered BLUE
cheese, would you ask me if I were from
Ateneo? I
don't think so. If I bought a MAROON
shirt, would you ask me if I
were from UP? I think not. So why then,
when I want to buy a
GREEN parrot, do you ask me if I'm from
La Salle ?"
"Sir, kasi naman..." replied the
salesgirl, "this is a flower shop, eh."
A TYPICAL CONVERSATION
Two La Sallites meet on the street and
carry on a typical La Sallite conversation:
La Sallite #1: If you can tell me how
many chickens I have in this bag,I will
give you both of them.
La Sallite #2: Uh, two?
La Sallite #1: Daya mo! You peeked!
BARKADA SA HUNTING
Tatlong magkaka-barkada: a La Sallite, a
UP student, and an Atenean went on a
hunting trip. The first night, the guy
from UP comes back to the cabin with a
big deer. The others ask him how he did
it,and he coolly replies: "I saw the
tracks, I followed the tracks, and bang!
I got the deer!"
The next night, the guy from Ateneo
comes back also with a big deer. "I saw
the tracks, I followed the tracks, and
bang! I
got the deer!" was the Atenean's story.
Therefore, the La Sallite decides to try
it himself. However, the
next night, as he drags himself back to
the cabin, his two companions find him
bruised and bloody all over. "What
happened?"
they ask. "Well," replies the La
Sallite, "I saw the tracks, I
followed the tracks, and bang! A train
hit me."
A MURDER MYSTERY
(To be solved solely on the basis of pure logic)
Who committed the murder?
Suspects:
The Humble Atenean, The Bright La
Sallite, The Innocent Maryknoller, The
Unaffected Assumptionista, The UP Graduate
Culprit:
The UP Graduate
Logic:
No such thing as a Humble Atenean or a
Bright La Sallite or an Innocent
Maryknoller or an Unaffected Assumptionista.
HOW DO YOU KNOW ONE WHEN YOU SEE ONE?
In a grand ballroom party conducted by
the Philippine Society of Colleges and
Universities, the Chairman of the Board
got curious to know what particular
schools attended the big celebration.
Therefore, he checked out the house
where it was all happening. Guess whom
he found and where he found them?
UP Diliman - everybody was lined up to
the attic to have a fraternity ritual
UP Los Banos - they were in the garden
mowing the lawn
UP Manila - they were into "drugs"
Ateneo - they were inside the TV room
with a microphone chanting the "BLUE
EAGLE" spelling
La Salle - they were eavesdropping
San Beda - some were beside the Ateneans
while others were in the
bedroom with some Paulinians
St. Paul - they thought they were with
the Ateneans
Holy Spirit - Ateneans and La Sallites
want them in bed
Miriam - they were beside the room of
the Ateneans..like always
Assumption - they were inside the
bathroom three hours already since arriving
St. Scholastica - they were next in line
for the bathroom
CEU - some were doing the dishes while
others were busy with the
laundry
St. Louis - they were in front of the
air conditioner
UE - they don't know what's an air
conditioner
UST - they were everywhere
FEU - they were nowhere
MLQU - sob! They were not invited
San Sebastian - How the hell did they
pass by security?
Letran - the Security
Mapua - they were fixing the leak in the
roof
TIP - they were the ones who created the
leak
NU - they were outside the house selling
cigarettes
JRC - they were the ones buying
Adamson - went to Luneta instead
Sta. Isabel - they were Adamson's dates
CRC - what the hell is this party for?
PSBA - what the hell is CRC?
NCBA - what the hell is PSBA?
AMA - they were parading with Jolina posters
Suicide Sandwhich
There were three friends: an Atenean, a
La Sallite, and a UP student (so you
know this story is fictional). Anyway,
everyday,
they met for lunch and ate their sandwiches.
UP: Putek! Peanut butter sandwich na
naman? Sawang-sawa na ako dito ah. Pag
bukas, peanut butter sandwich na
namanang baon
ko, magpapatiwakal na ako.
Ateneo: Darn! Roast beef sandwich again.
I am sick of this already. If I get
another roast beef sandwich again
tomorrow, I! am gonna shoot myself.
La Salle : Oh my gosh, grabe! Ham
sandwich is my baon again. I am so sawa
with this sandwich na, ha? If my baon
tomorrow is ham sandwich again. I am
gonna drive my CRV over the cliff.
The next morning, they again met for
lunch, and, alas, they had
the same sandwiches again. The UP
student went back to his dorm,
pulled out a belt and choked himself to
death.
The Atenean went home, got a gun, and
shot himself in the head.
The La Sallite drove his CRV off a cliff.
During their funeral, their mothers were
interviewed:
UP: Kung sinabi niya lang sa akin na
ayaw niya na nang peanut butter
sandwich, eh di sana hindi na yun yung
pinabaon ko sa kanya.
Ateneo: If he had told me that he did
not want roast beef anymore, I wouldn't
have prepared him roast beef.
La Salle : Hindi ko maintindihan kung
bakit siya nagpakamatay, eh
siya naman yung gumagawa ng sarili
niyang sandwich.
Enjoy
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