Jokeness 2

FACT: did you know that those people who laugh with "hehe" loves sex and people who laugh with "haha" are intelligent?

...wala lang, just to let you know. hehe...

Ay, haha pala!

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A chinese and Steven Spielberg were drunk in a bar...

Spielberg hit the chinese...

Chinese: why you hit me?

Spielberg: coz you bombed Pearl Harbor, my father died there.

Chinese: but I am chinese not Japanese, stupid!

Spielberg: Japanese, Vietnamese, Chinese... all the same!

... chinese punched Spielberg

Spielberg: why you hit me too?

Chinese: Thats for the sinking of TITANIC.

Spielberg: but the Titanic was sunk by an iceberg, you fool!

Chinese: Iceberg, Carlsberg, Spielberg... you are all the same!!

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Biyaya na makukuha sa Gulay:

AMPALAYA, pampapula ng dugo KALABASA pampalinaw ng mata TALONG pampatirik ng mata MANI pampatirik ng TALONG. Ay! nalito na ako.

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Wife: Dear, ano rego amo mo sa 25th Anniversary natin?

Husband: Dalhin kita sa Africa...

Wife: Wow! How sweet naman... eh! sa 50th Anniversary natin?

Husband: Susunduin na kita!

========================================

NANAY: Bobo ka talaga! 1 to 10 lang di
mo kayang bilangin?

ANAK: Mas bobo si tatay nay, kasi
narinig ko minsan sabi, "tama na inday,
hanggang tatlo lang kaya ko."

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Dalawang probinsyano sumakay sa elevator
Gorio: magkano ibabayad natin?
Andoy: tanga! inosente! bugok! stupid! bat ka magbabayad eh wala pa tayong tiket!

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Mister: Di ko na kaya problema ko!

Misis: Hon, problema natin ito, tayo ang magkasama sa buhay, lahat ng problema mo problema ko... ano problema natin?

Mister: nabuntis natin si Inday, tayo ang ama!

========================================

Pedro: Pare bakit malungkot ka?

Juan: Asawa ko nag hire ng driver, Gwapo, Bata, Macho!

Pedro: Nagseselos ka?

Juan: Nagtataka lang ako kasi wala kaming sasakyan!

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Kapag may kaaway ka,

tandaan mo...

dito lang ako...

dito lang talaga ako...

tapos dyan ka lang,

wag kang pupunta dito!

baka madamay ako!

========================================

4 kinds of "Utot"

1. Long but Harmless

2. Loud and Proud

3. Silent but Violent

4. Wet and Wild

========================================

Alam mo ba kung bakit may sabaw ang balot?

Kung Ikaw kaya ang ikulong sa shell... saan ka ji-jingle?

Aber?

Saan??

Sumagot kaaaa!!!

SaaaAANNNNNNN ?!?!?!

========================================

Ama: Hoy! Huwag kang babakla bakla ha?
Anak: Hindi po Itay, pupunta nga ako ng basketbolan eh!
Ama: Yan! Astig!
Anak: Inay? nakita mo yung POMPOMS ko?
Ina: Alin? yung pink?

========================================

Pare 1: Pare, sa wakas nag ka GF na rin ako!!
Pare 2: Bakit!?! Ngayon ka lang ba nagka GF?
Pare 1: OO pare! sobrang higpit kasi ni Misis eh! Ngayon lang ako nakalusot!

1 comment:

online casino amex said...

This message is simply matchless ;)

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