Mercury Drugstore

One day, in line at the Australian Emabassy cafeteria in Manila, Dave says to Mike behind him,
"My elbow hurts like hell. I suppose I'd better see a doctor!"

"Listen mate; don't waste your time down at the surgery", Mike replies.

"There's a diagnostic computer at Mercury Drug. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what's wrong, and what to do about it.

It takes ten seconds and only costs P200....a lot quicker and better than a doctor and you get Frequent Flier Miles".

So Dave collects a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Mercury. He deposits the P200 and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.

Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
"You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks".

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Dave began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and "pleasured himself" into the mixture for good measure.

Dave hurried back to Mercury Drug, eager to check what would happen.

He again deposits P200, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results with a grin .

The computer prints the following:

1) Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.

2) Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.

3) Your daughter has a shabu habit.. Get her into rehab.

4) Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.

5) And if you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better....