Local Jokes 6

A Chemistry teacher asked a sexy, blonde student, "What are NITRATES?
The student replied shyly, "Ma'am, as motel Po. NITRATES are higher than day rates!"

WHO'S GUILTY?
Wife dreaming in the middle of the night suddenly shouts, "Quick, My husband is back!"
Man gets up, jumps out the window and realizes, "Damn! I am the Husband!"

Different prayers of single women...
At Age 15: Lord, give me SuperMAN.
At Age 18: Lord, give me a cute MAN.
At Age 20: Lord, give me the best MAN.
At Age 30: Lord, give me a good MAN.
At Age 40: Lord, give me a MAN.
At Age 50: Lord, give me sinoMAN.
At Age 60: Lord, maawa ka naMAN.
At Age 70: Lord, kaya ko pa naMAN.

Usapan ng dalawang Bata...
Junjun: Magaling ang tatay ko! Alam MO, 'yang Pacific Ocean, siya ang humukay nun!
Pedrito: Wala 'yan as tatay ko! Alam MO 'yung Dead Sea?
Junjun: Oo...
Pedrito: Siya ang pumatay nun!

Advantage at disadvantage ng may-asawa...
ADVANTAGE: 'Pag kailangan MO, nandiyan agad.
DISADVANTAGE: 'Pag ayaw MO na, andiyan pa rin!

What is the difference between a girlfriend, a call girl and a wife?
Sagot: Post paid, pre paid, unlimited.

Umuwi is mister nang 4:00 AM at nakita niya ang kanyang misis na may
katalik na lalaki as kama .
Misis: (sumigaw) SAAN KA GALING?!
Mister: Sino 'yang katabi MO?
Misis: HUWAG MONG IBAHIN ANG USAPAN!


Rodrigo: Bakit bad trip ka?
Harry: Nagtampo as 'kin ang utol ko.
Rodrigo: Bakit naman?
Harry: Nakalimutan ko kasi ang birthday niya.
Rodrigo: 'Yun lang? Anong masama ru'n?
Harry: Ang masama ru'n... twins kami! Twins!